Early Morning Catastrophes + Laundered Pillows

The scene:

It's 6am. I'm asleep in bed, wearing my silk eye mask scented with lavender, snugly surrounded by goose down and memory foam. Suddenly, a cold liquid chemical is sprayed in my face.

Me: #@*&$!!!!!!

(silence)

Me: Seriously, WHAT IS GOING ON?

The Scientist: Oh, nothing really. Only a Fur-Baby just (details removed to protect the innocent).

My interest is piqued so I remove my eye mask.

Me: Seriously?

The Scientist: YES!!!!!!!!!

(we stare at each other in silence)

Me: You can't wash a pillow with Febreze like that, you know.

And that was how an early morning Fur-Baby catastrophe turned into a lesson in laundering down-filled pillows.

Unfortunately for us, our washing machine can barely hold 6 t-shirts. I have a few Asian friends who literally have rice cookers bigger than my washing machine. (Please direct all hate mail through the submission form.) Putting our king-sized pillow in it is not an option. The next best thing? A bathtub. We have one of those.

How to wash a down pillow in a bathtub:

• First things first: Does your pillow tag say DRY CLEAN ONLY? If so, stop right here and take it to the dry cleaner. Now you're done! Magic!
• Are you single, or do you have a significant other who doesn't mind shelling out for a dry cleaner? If so, stop right here and take it to the dry cleaner. More magic tricks!
• Fill your bathtub with warm water. You only need it about halfway full.
• Mix in half a cap of detergent under the running water.
• Put the pillow in the tub. Make sure the "offensive" side is down.
• Push the pillow down to the bottom of the tub over and over again. Work it around. Embody the essence of the washing machine.
• Sniff the pillow. Does it smell clean? If so, wring it and smash it in your hands until you get all the water out.

Now that it's all clean you can just leave it out to dry! My dryer is too small for a pillow so we left it out on a drying rack. It's going to take a loooooooooong time to dry, so every few hours just fluff it up a bit by beating it. If you feel any clumps then break them up as best you can.

Oh, and Godspeed...